Rocking Babies

For all those who think it's what i really do at my job all night.....well, sometimes I do rock babies. I did last night......sometimes I think I would love to trade jobs with a few of you....sit in a cubicle, play in a classroom, drive around and smooze people, play on the computer, ect....but I know in my heart that by the end of the day, I'd be ready to come back here and do it all over again. Guess it was what I was created to do, just some days I'm not sure I'm really cut out to do it.

So, if you're having a bad day and you think you can't stand a minute more of your job, just envision this picture: me sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of a dimly lit room during the wee hours of the morning on a saturday night humming softly and cuddling a beautiful, perfectly made 36 hr old 7 lb baby boy with a head full of gorgeous brown fuzzy hair, attempting to comfort him for 94 long minutes as he gasps and struggles with each breath, praying it will be his last and that his body will give up since his spirit did about 35 hrs ago. His 17 and 18 yr old parents huddled in a waiting rm with family gathered around them, waiting for the official word that their son has gone home. I don't blame them. It's traumatic enough to go through that at such a young age....go 9 mo excited about a beautiful baby, only to have to make the hardest decision of your life for that of another's and then watch them fight till the end (feel free to believe that they all slip quietly into the night if it helps you cope). Some can't handle it....which is when I step in and get to hold them after we take them off life support, watching them die slowly in my arms. Try that one on for size-we could use a few more rockers, if you think you're up for it. But I feel blessed.....I don't leave here with heavy arms and have to go home to a house with an empty, dark nursery, filled with everything a baby would need....that's their job-which i would never trade for.

My last 5 shifts I have taken care of 2 different kids where I had to explain to teary-eyed young parents that their little one was going home very soon...just not in their arms....and that the right thing to do, is to give them permission to go now instead of dragging it out. I guess it's my special for the month. One thing I did learn: music and prayer transcends all language barriers. I understand very little spanish, but I understood every word and every note of the families pleas and cries, voices lifted up to God, as 30 crowded in a tiny room and clasped hands praying and singing. So you see, I get to help ALL our babies go home and sometimes, I DO rock babies......