Wierd thoughts to celebrate friday the 13th....

On my drive into work today, while fighting off some serious sleep temptations, a song came on the radio...as I was listening I thought i know this song and i've never heard this all at the same time....and as the lines ran one by one i realized why my head couldn't remember the song my heart had already sung.....months ago this artist had led worship at our bible study and introduced their "new song" and taught it to us. now, i was hearing it again and finding it oh so familiar....but slightly wierd and surreal. these thoughts led me to how many times i've left a bible study or worship service thinking how insane it was that i had just worshiped with some famous artist and never gave it a second thought. i love it, but its kinda wierd to be so intermingled with the music industry at times. the words ministered to my soul:

Now how could I, after knowing One so great

Respond to You in any way that's less than all I have to give

But by Your grace, I wanna love You not with what I say but everyday

In the way that my life is lived

Every time I breathe You seem a little bit closer

I never wanna leave I wanna stay in Your warm embrace

Oh basking in the glory shining from Your face and

Every time I get another glimpse of Your heart

I realize it's true, that You are so marvelous God

And I am so in love with You

Then, i drove back home tonight prying my eyes open the entire way just so i could make it home without wrecking. It had been a really long, stressful, busy day at work, and it was taking all my energy to just breathe. (did i ever mention how much i HATE dayshift). i've been super stressed about africa decisions and tempted to just put it all on the backburner because it's easier. work's been insane and i've been really homesick since my last "visitation". anyway, as i looked west i saw the sunset painted across the lake, but the gorgeous colors weren't the remarkable thing. i had to look a few times to make sure i wasn't hallucinating from sleep deprivation or low blood sugar or something just as disastrous. Stretched across the sky was God's blood-stained handprint as a signature of his hand in this world; on my life. I felt him saying...shhhh...be still erin, it's all going to work out. I'm in control. step out in faith and leave the rest to me. you are mine and you are in my hands. no really, i'm not completely insane, the way the clouds were...there was a giant red handprint strewn across the sky....palm laid down and fingertips stretched out toward me. wierd.......but it allowed me to rest in His goodness and His mercy knowing that it's already done. i just have to say yes. what am i so afraid of anyway? surely not the malaria-carrying gigantic misquitos.....nope!

that combined with the dream I had right before I woke with Jesus standing behind, annointing me during a (very pentecostal type) worship service...He laid both hands on my shoulders for a brief moment, but I knew what He was saying. So i've made my decision and guess if you're reading this right now, you're probably the first one to know....I'm emailing Iris Ministries after I push the publish button and the other details He will work out. guess the 13th is really freaky friday after all.....although, i would have never dreamed i'd be in this place...so in some ways, it's very fitting! God is good....ALL the time!