The Un-Baby Name Book

no, no...no baby on board...just commentary on what not to name your kiddos...since i have the lucky misfortune of explaining to my little chicklets why their momma so destined them to be a stripper....imean, you have a whole 9 months to contemplate such an important issue....(or in the case of the moms i see perhaps a few less) you should pick out a few, then when the kid comes out...look at it and decide which name best fits....choose that....its not a last min. decision...didn't your momma tell you that if you have sex you should be prepared to name a human being and that it is legally binding...perhaps, she skipped over that when she failed to mention that it also causes pregnancy and forces responsibility in the most carefree individuals-going back to how they got into the predicament in the first place...but none the less, please do not take it out on your child, just b/c the other kids couldn't rhyme anything with your name during the banana song back in the day.

Names that should never even be considered and will be banned when I rule the world (I promise I or coworkers have seen all of these names...they are really too good to make up):
Lee Jeans, RaRa and ZaZa (obvs. twins), Alnight, Ecstasy and Pleasure, Stormy (or any other commentary on natural disasters or anything the weather channel might find appropriate to talk about), Placenta, Male, Female, Rowdy (you are just asking for it); any string of consonants starting with QQ that will never be pronounced correctly since in English we like a few vowells now and then; any rhyming twin names or variations of the same name (exp: darelle and darielle); twin names that just reverse the first name with the middle name for the sibling; any name that begins with some form of title such as king, prince, sir or queen; any twin names with the same name but adding numbers to the end to denote distinction

I'm keeping a list for future reference...don't make me put your kid on it!